Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Paper Doll

Today I went to the graveyard by the school, an old graveyard, a long forgotten place where the markers are like jagged teeth sticking up haphazardly along the sloping overgrown grounds. I was called there, I am often called there, usually I ignore the call, this time I could not.

I sat down under a tree. It was night.

I took an offering.

A small sad paper doll with eyes like mine. She pleaded with me and I said that it had to be.

I buried her under the tree.

With her I buried my sadness…

my loneliness

regret

fear

resentment

and the possibility of anything that could grow from the tie between her and me.

I gave her a headstone of a rock that glowed in the darkness.

Her small white foot stuck out from the bottom of the grave.

I told her that I could not keep her, I pushed her tiny foot into the dirt and mashed it down.

I threw dirt on a grave once.

I said goodbye to someone once.

I can do it again.

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