A story by Lisa and Mark Thomas
Bathtime to bed story
In this story I have to play 3 different characters, the boss, a kraken, and a vampire squid. Mark is submarine captain John and his mate deep sea diver Bob. John and bob are on a mission and need orders from their boss, they pass the secret gates and enter the sea cave special hideout. John asked the boss to make sure to track bob while he goes on his deep sea research diving expeditions.
The boss: yes, I will watch him and monitor his travels but remember to be gentle with the deep sea life and don’t bring them up to the land level because they are too delicate and fragile and wouldn’t last a day even at higher water levels.
John: ok, yes sir, I will certainly tell Bob.
Boss: why is that you wish to go down deep in the sea?
John: because bob wants to study the vampire squid, vampyrteuthis infernalis, the Vampire Squid from Hell.
Boss: remember to only study these creatures at the ConShelf underwater labs and not bring them up any higher.
John and bob take off on their journey. Bob happened upon a Kraken hanging out quietly in the mid ocean.
Bob: Excuse me, Mister Kraken, could you please point me in the direction of where the vampire squid lives.
Kraken: well… why do you want to know?
Bob: I would like to study him.
Kraken: what are you studying him for?
Bob: I just want one suction cup from his tentacle.
Kraken: well, how exactly do you plan to extract that suction cup from his person?
Bob: I don’t know, what do you think?
Kraken: well,,, you could ask him for one, something like “excuse me mr. vampire squid I don’t mean to bother you or anything but do you think I could have a suction cup to study, maybe you might have one that fell off yesterday that you don’t need anymore?”, and maybe he will give you one.
Bob: Ok, I’ll try that thanks!
Off Bob swims, deeper and deeper into the depths when he happens to bump into something in the deep darkness of the ocean deep. And it proceeds to squirt some weird stuff that glows for 10 minutes (mark’s part).
V. Squid: EEEEEeeeeeeaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!! Wha-wha, whaaaaat do you want???
Bob: (in a mean voice) I have come to get a suction cup!!!
V Squid: stuttering how do you mean to get that sucker??
Bob: Oh, uh, can I please have a sucker?
V. Squid: Well, I…uh….don’t know
Bob: The Kraken told me that you might have an extra one you’re not using??
V. Squid: Well, I suppose I have one that’s a little loose on one of my back arms. Why do you want it?
Bob: I just want to study it.
V Squid: for what purposes exactly? Do you want to find a cure for some disease? Like find some medicinal something or what, is it study in the name of science, or historical research. Are you a marine biologist?
Bob: yes, I am a biologist and I want to study it in my laboratory.
V. Squid: but for what purposes do you want to study my spare sucker?
Bob: well… I want it to give to the Amazing Kraken!
V. Squid: What?! What would that old kraken want with one of my old shriveled up suckers??
Bob: (stammering) well…, he, uh, collects them.
V.Squid: ok , well if you say so, here wait, let me pull it off, uhn uhn, urghgh , ouch! Alright here ya go.
Bob: thanks so much!!
Bob swims back up to the kraken and says, “Oh Great Amazing Kraken I have brought you this sucker from the elusive vampire squid!”
Kraken: What!? I didn’t say I wanted one of his suckers! Why would I want some nasty old vampire squid sucker that was falling off anyway??
Bob: well… you have a collection of suckers.
Kraken: What?! I don’t have a sucker collection!! Where did you hear that? Who told you that?
Bob: oh well, I guess I makeded that up (mark exact quote)
Kraken: Maybe you should take it to your boss up in the under sea cave.
Bob: alright thanks!
Bob and John return in their submersible to their headquarters and Bob tells the boss all about what he saw.
Bob: Well would you like to see the movie I made of the deep sea life?
Boss: yes, yes I would love to
He watches and says<,” Wow that is quite amazing you are really talented, do you realize that you may have footage here that no one on earth has ever seen or filmed before??
Bob: Yes, I am a biologist and I study the sea, I work with Gilly (Gilly is a real Humboldt squid specialist that mark learned about from his National Geographic squid dvd that he got from his grandma and granddaddy).
Boss: Wow! you actually worked with Professor Gilly?
Bob: yes I was with him when he tagged and measured all the red devil squids. I study squids, octopuses, vampire squids and cuttlefish.
Boss: wow that is really impressive!
Bob: and even the red devil!
Boss: you must have the most incredible stories.
Bob: Yes, I have 5 stories.
Bob: (he holds up his thumb) Story number 1: One nite I went out after a morning evening and went deep under the dark water. I brushed up against something and it then blew a bunch of stuff on me that glowed for 10 mintues. And it had ear-like fins and 2 eyes that went like this (he shows his eyes slowly closing like the V. Squid’s photophores).
Story #2: I was swimming at nite one nite and I was deep down in the dark and I saw a little light that seemed to be dangling from a string. I went close up to it and thought it was so pretty. AND then huge teeth closed down on me and I was inside his tummy. Then when I turned the light on in his belly I saw lots of little things with white wings, mouths on their heads and teeth on their tongues (real sea angels).
Story #3: I went diving in the deep sea another time and I saw this strange creature with tentacles on it’s head (piglet squid) and I think it was talking to me, it said something like, “squlslu sdlfi j jmwh osdfiumritjw” which translated means, “hey, do you know where the bathroom is down here?” (that is almost an exact quote, give or take a pronoun)
Story #4: I was diving and I saw this very strange looking fish that was swimming very very fast and had this weird fin around the front of his body and went like this (he motions his hands in an undulating fashion) I thought it might be a squid or an octopus but it wasn’t, it wasn’t an angler fish or a gulper eel, it was a cuttlefish!
Story #5: One time I was scuba diving and I saw a fast moving thing and it squirted a cloud of ink right at me. It was a red devil squid.